Disney is Full of Magic…But it Helps to Have Some Tricks Up Your Sleeve, Too

We went on our family’s first trip to Walt Disney World in Florida this past May.  We invited my parents to come with us, which was probably the best decision we made about the whole trip!  Not only was it nice to share the memories with them, but a 4 to 2 ratio of adults to kids was pretty sweet.  We had a truly magical time, but there were certainly ups and downs to the trip.  Here are some of my tips and tricks that I learned along the way.

Booking:

We booked through CAA (my mom has a membership) thinking that a) we’d get some sort of discount and b) it would be easier to have a travel agent help us with planning.  Our particular agent was flighty, rude and sometimes impossible to get a hold of.  At one point, I called Disney directly to get something done on my own, and they regretfully told me that since I had booked through an agent, everything had to be done through her, going forward. 

Bottom Line Advice: Skip the agent and book directly through Disney.  They are EXTREMELY helpful, and the “My Disney Experience” program on their website is so easy to use. 

Flights:

We were originally quoted an astronomical amount for our flights out of Pearson Airport with Air Canada.  I scoured the internet for days and finally found an AMAZING deal through Southwest, flying out of Buffalo.

Bottom Line Advice: Fly out of Buffalo.  You’ll get customs over with when you drive across the border, parking is super cheap ($60 for the week), Southwest crew are fantastic and you won’t pay an arm and a leg for taxes on your flight costs (Pearson is apparently the worst for taxes).

Where to Stay:

CARS Family Suites at Disney's Art of Animation Resort

We stayed in the CARS family suite at The Art of Animation resort.  IT WAS WONDERFUL.  The resort itself is beyond beautiful, with Disney characters – more than life size – around every turn (CARS, Finding Nemo, the Lion King and the Little Mermaid).  The rooms were big and comfortable and well maintained, the staff were very helpful and friendly, and the amenities were spectacular. 

The only downfall of staying at AoA is that it is literally the farthest resort from the Magic Kingdom.  Shuttle buses come every 20 minutes, but the ride to Magic Kingdom was another 22 minutes.  Staying at the Contemporary resort, which is a 5-minute walk from Magic Kingdom might have been a better option, and is something we’ll certainly consider next time. 

Bottom line advice: Stay at a Disney resort!  You get free transportation for your entire trip, and the service is unsurpassed.

Dining Reservations:

Count down to when you are 180 days out from your trip, and be ready to book your dining reservations AT THAT EXACT MOMENT.  I booked a few hours later, and all of the reservations for the highly sought after “Be Our Guest” restaurant (the Beauty and the Beast castle at Magic Kingdom) for the week of our trip were taken.  ALL OF THEM. But not to worry, we were still able to get some awesome character meals!  I highly recommend:

Cinderella’s Royal Table, (Magic Kingdom)
This one is even great for the boys! My son was SMITTEN with the princesses, and my daughter was in complete awe.  If you’re on the dining plan, it will cost you two table-service vouchers.  You are paying for the atmosphere, not the food (it’s good, but not two table-service vouchers good), and it is totally worth it.  We met Snow White, Jasmine, Aurora, Ariel and, of course, Cinderella.  You’ll get your picture taken with Cinderella upon arrival, and the printed pictures will be brought to your table during breakfast.

Cinderella's Royal Table

The Crystal Palace (Magic Kingdom)

This place happened to be our safe haven during a torrential downpour on our fifth day at Disney.  It’s lovely inside, has a delicious buffet with lots of vegetarian options, and features the adorable characters from Winnie the Pooh!

At The Crystal Palace

Hollywood & Vine (Hollywood Studios)

This was most certainly a favourite for my kids.  Handy Manny, Sofia the First, Doc McStuffins and Jake all visited our table and spent lots of lovable time with us.  The buffet here is yummy, especially at breakfast (we went for lunch and breakfast during our stay).

At Hollywood & Vine

Bottom Line Advice: Book exactly 180 days in advance.  Also, keep in mind that while character meals are super fun, they are VERY stressful for parents.  I barely ate at any of these meals because I wanted to be locked and loaded with the autograph books and cameras.  Save a few meals for some quiet conversation about how fun your day has been!

Fast Passes:

Use this feature, and book as soon as you can!  I think we were able to book them 30 days prior to our trip.  People made fun of me for making an itinerary for each day, but I did that, too.  It was so helpful to have a guideline to follow that we could change up depending on our mood or the weather (I’ll get more into the itinerary later).  The great thing about the fast passes is that you can update them, change them, cancel them, re-book them on the My Disney Experience app right from your smart phone.  Countless times, I used the WI-FI in the park to do this, right up to the last minute!  It’s super easy, and so convenient. 

Bottom Line Advice: Book your fast passes early for the rides and attractions you REALLY want, and book the rest knowing that they’ll be easy to change later.

Drafting an Itinerary:

Meeting Ariel at her Grotto

I may have gone a little overboard with the way I planned our itineraries, but I’m glad I did it. I tried to book our Fast Passes in groups that went together geographically but also in themes.  For example, our first day at Magic Kingdom included Under the Sea – Journey of the Little Mermaid followed by meeting Ariel at her Grotto.  So I made sure my daughter and I were dressed in Ariel colours (I even made themed hair accessories for her for each day). It was SO nice to have a guideline to follow for the day, but thanks to the amazingness (yes, that’s a word) of the Disney app, we were able to make changes to some of our fast passes when necessary. 

One thing I would have done differently is book at least one more “resort day”.  We were there Saturday – Saturday, and our only day of just staying on our beautiful resort was on Tuesday.  All the other days involved visiting either the Magic Kingdom or Hollywood Studios, and while it was fun, it was EXHAUSTING.  We even asked our son at one point what his favourite part had been so far, and he said, “swimming in the Nemo pool [at Art of Animation]”. 

The Big Blue Nemo Pool at Art of Animation

Packing for your day trips:

Pack light!!!!  The essentials are water bottles, sunscreen, baby wipes, small snacks, rain ponchos (get them at the dollar store at home), mini first aid kit, sunglasses, hats, and your camera. 

Parades:

Festival of Fantasy Parade

I highly recommend the 3pm Festival of Fantasy parade, and the nighttime Electrical Parade at Magic Kingdom. If you have small children, it’s a good idea to grab a spot at the very bottom of Main Street USA for the nighttime parade, especially if you’re planning to stay for the Wishes Nighttime Spectacular fireworks display afterward. There will be a MAD DASH for the exit after this, and if you’re at the bottom of Main Street, you’ll be one of the first out, and therefore one of the first back to your resort bus stop.  We secured our spot at 7pm and the parade started at 9pm (take turns saving the spot and take this time to check out the shops on Main Street).  We brought glow sticks and glow bracelets from home (super cheap from Michaels or the $ store), but spent $12 on a glow-in-the-dark bubble maker that my son was desperate for from one of the many carts of goodies they push around before the parade. 

Electrical Parade

The Wishes Nighttime Spectacular was truly magical!  Images from Disney movies were projected onto Cinderella Castle and music pumped through the speakers all around us.  I got very emotional sitting there with my little family, surrounded by such wonder; especially seeing the pure joy on their faces as the fireworks shone in the night sky.  This was probably my very favourite moment of our entire trip.

Bottom line advice: Secure your spot early, and ENJOY!

Other Tips:

Get someone to be your “Fairy Godmailer” (ask someone who is visiting Disney before you to send a postcard to your kids from Disney – have them sign it from your kids’ favourite characters to get them excited about the trip!)

DATE NIGHT!

Bring Grandparents – they will be invaluable to you!!

Schedule a date night (if you bring grandparents)

Bring daily envelopes for “Mousekeeping” and leave $3-5 in each 

one (they are so appreciative of this)

Rent a stroller from Kingdom Strollers (they drop it off and pick it up from your Disney resort – so easy!!).  They rent City Mini Doubles, and they are a DREAM.  Every time you get on and off of a bus or train, you have to fold up the stroller - these are super easy to fold, and very easy to carry.

Be smart about your dining plan  (there is SO much food… it’s 

easy to share one Quick Service meal, so you can eat smaller portions more often throughout the day)

Bring Ziplocks - you'll need them all day long! Left over food, wet clothes, things you don't want to lose...

Starbucks = 1 Snack on your meal plan.  Enough said.

When you see something you like in one of the shops, buy it – you may not see it later, and it could be gone by the time you get back.  If you’re staying at a Disney resort, you can have it delivered to you so you don’t have to carry it around all day!

      Don't worry about whether your kids nap or stay up late.  They will adapt, and you can always go back to your resort hotel when you need to!  My kids both napped on and off in the stroller when they wanted, and were totally fine to stay up late.

Buy Memory Maker a week before your trip! It’s $150, but you get ALL the digital images any of the Photo Pass photographers take of you throughout all of the parks.  You can stop and have your picture taken whenever you see one of them!  They’ll even do creative shots – you may feel silly at the time, but when you see your photos later you’ll understand what they were doing (see below)!

Mike Wazowski!

Tinker Bell!

My best piece of advice is to go with a plan, but be willing to throw it out the window!  You're at Disney, so HAVE FUN!

*If I think of more tips, I will add and repost! 

I

life in her eyes

The last time I saw my Grandma Kay was well over a year ago.  I visited with a woman this morning who reminded me of her.  She looks a bit like her, and has photos of my children in her room.  She has my grandmother's name on her door.  She even has the same birthday.   But her hair isn't permed.  Her clothes aren't carefully chosen.  Her big smile and contagious laugh aren't there.  She isn't feisty and opinionated.  She isn't chastising my grandfather with a loud, "Oh, ERNIE!".  She barely speaks.  She is skinny.  She is tired.  She is lonely.

She is lost.

Alzheimer's disease.  I remember hearing about it when I was a child, but never really understood what it was.  Well now I know it's one of the cruelest most debilitating diseases out there.  My grandmother doesn't know that she has four children.  That she has nine grandchildren.  That she has two great-grandchildren.  She doesn't know that her husband of over 60 years has a body that is deteriorating in a hospital while she sits in a chair with a mind that's doing the same.

"I'm looking for Kathleen Gilligan," I said to the nurse as I held my 10-month-old baby tightly to my chest.  "Right in there," she said, pointing to a room at the end of the hall. I walked in and saw several large windows with sunlight streaming in. I couldn't help but shake my head at the sight of such warmth amidst the lifeless crowd of wheelchair-bound residents along one side of a table. All of them were asleep, one with a half empty glass of chocolate milk in front of her that she clearly wouldn't be able to finish on her own.  At the end of the table sat my grandmother, slumped in her wheelchair with one hand holding her head up.

"Kathleen, I brought a baby to see you," I said as I gently held her hand and stroked her arm.

She slowly opened her eyes, and stared down at the floor.  I moved Violet into her line of sight, and she suddenly lifted her chin and her eyes set on my baby girl.  Her eyes even began to sparkle, and life flowed into her gaze. She made kissing sounds toward Violet and whispered what I could only make out to be "mom".  But just as quickly as it had arrived, the life drained out of her eyes and she looked away.

"Kathleen, this is Violet.  She's almost a year old!  Everyone says she looks just like you!"

A man wheeled into the room and spoke loudly about how adorable Violet was, and asked who we were. "This is Kathleen's great-granddaughter," I said, hoping for some sort of reaction from my grandmother.

Nothing.

"Isn't she beautiful!" the man said.

I placed my baby in a chair next to the wheelchair, and Violet immediately turned to reach for my grandmother's withered body.  Her tiny hand grabbed Grandma Kay's sweater, and suddenly their eyes met.  My grandmother's dry lips began to quiver, and then turned up into what I know was the biggest smile she could muster.  I let Violet get closer, and she touched her great-grandmother's hand, and with my help, her cheek.

"We love you, Grandma," I said as I picked Violet up and headed for the door.  Her head nodded down again, but she quickly looked back up when we turned to wave. Violet reached her hand forward in her little version of a goodbye, and Grandma Kay's eyes didn't blink as she watched us leave.

It's been well over a year since I saw my grandmother, and I know that I will never see her again.  But I will continue to visit this woman who reminds me of her, and with Violet's help, try to bring a little life into her eyes each time.

the last time

*Disclaimer: This blog is in no way meant to judge any mother's choice to breastfeed or not.

Two days ago, I left my little family to drive to Brampton Civic Hospital for an appointment with a rheumatologist.  I listened to the entire Mumford & Sons 'Babel' album, singing happily all the way.  I walked into the hospital, registered, and surfed through Facebook while I sat in a large waiting room - completely and blissfully unaware that my entire life was about to change.

Let me back up a bit.  About 8 years ago, I started noticing some discomfort in the joint of my thumb on my right hand and the toes on my right foot.  Nothing too serious, just couldn't hand-write anything for a long period of time or wear heels for longer than a couple of hours.  Fast forward to 2010 when my son Mateo was born.  I started noticing that changing his diaper would cause some pretty bad pain in my thumb that would sometimes radiate up my arm.  I went to my family doctor, who sent me to an orthopaedic surgeon who insisted it was an "old sports injury" that I must have "forgotten about".  Let's be clear - aside from pretending to play second base on a softball team when I was 12 and hiding in the showers while on the swim team in high school, I've never played a sport in my life.  He coerced me into getting a cortisone injection, and sent me on my way.  That worked for a while, but then the pain returned.

I continued to endure this extremely uncomfortable pain in my thumb and my right toes, and then the joint of my middle finger on my right hand started to hurt.  I went through a similar process, this time with a different doctor who again coerced me into cortisone in both my thumb and my middle finger.  I continued on with this pain until Mateo was about 15 months old.  At the time, I didn't notice that this coincided with when he weaned himself from breastfeeding.  I went on with my life, and aside from the occasional discomfort that I treated with physiotherapy, I didn't think any more of it.

My husband and I discussed having another child, and so after 5 months of trying and one early miscarriage, we got pregnant with our daughter Violet, who was born this past October.  It was around Christmastime that I started noticing the old pain coming back in my fingers and toes, but this time more fingers hurt too.  I started seeing my physiotherapist again, and the more I saw him, the more he became visibly concerned that I had a condition that was far more serious than my family doctor or any other doctor I'd seen realized.  He kept mentioning things like gout and lupus and arthritis, but in complete denial, I failed to ask my doctor for a blood test.  I tried giving up gluten and dairy, I continued my physio, I tried acupuncture and massage therapy.  But nothing worked.  In fact, by March, the pain had spread through my entire right hand, part of my left hand, both knees, all ten toes, and my spine.  By April, I had to heave myself out of bed every time Violet cried for me in the middle of the night, and literally limp to her nursery - often times unable to pick her up and forced to wake my husband to help me.

Finally, at the advice of my physiotherapist, I went to my family doctor and asked to be tested for rheumatoid arthritis.  "It's not RA, but I'll do the test if you want," she said.  I used my connections through a surgeon at Brampton Civic, and got myself referred to a rheumatologist despite my blood test coming back negative (yay!! relief!!).  I wanted to see this doctor to see if she could give me some answers about all of this pain and inflammation.  Maybe she'd prescribe me some naproxen and wish me the best.

And so here we are, back in the waiting room.  I wrote a note to some girlfriends on Facebook that I was nervous to hear what the doctor would say, based on information another friend had given me that morning (this friend is a doctor and had indicated that I'd likely be put on  meds that I couldn't breastfeed on, to which I replied, "I will never compromise the health of my daughter.  I don't care what the doctor says").  Blissfully.  Unaware.

About 40 minutes past my appointment time, I was called in.  The doctor came into the room and asked me to explain my story.  She asked me how long I planned to nurse my baby, and I said "as long as she wants me to".  "Hmmm" she said.  She did a full body assessment of my joints, writing on her chart as she went.  At one point I noticed she had to start a second page of notes.  "Hmmm. This isn't good" she said.

I sat on the table and listened to the words coming out of her mouth, but I wasn't really hearing her.  She isn't saying this to me.  She isn't telling me that even though my blood test was negative, I actually do have RA. She isn't telling me that I have 17 affected joints, and that more than 5 is cause for immediate and aggressive treatment.  She isn't telling me that the drug I have to go on is so severe and dangerous that I will no longer be able to provide nourishment for my baby.  That I will be in constant danger of getting sick because the drug will completely suppress my immune system to attack this awful disease that's taken over my body.

Then I suddenly heard her.  I started to cry and begged her for another solution so that I could keep nursing Violet.  "There must be something," I cried. "No, Erin.  You need to start this treatment, and you need to start this soon.  Do you want to feed Violet for another few months or do you want to be able to play with her in the park when you're 35?".  No more bliss.

I left with a prescription for Methotrexate, and two sheets of blood test requisitions.  She said, "please make an appointment soon, Erin.  I will see you soon.  It's going to be ok."  Is it?  Is it really?  How will I explain to my 6-month-old that "Mommy can't bring you close enough to soothe you when you're scared or sad, instead I have to shove a fake nipple in your mouth attached to a bottle filled with something that tastes nothing like breastmilk"?  I'm walking down the hall of the hospital, fogging up my sunglasses with tears thinking, "I've failed her.  I've failed my daughter. NO! This isn't happening.  It's not".

I got to my car and lost it.  Completely and utterly lost it.  Couldn't see past the tears, and started whaling.  Why me?  Why now?  Breastfeeding Violet is one of my most cherished things about being her mother.  I know these moments we share will eventually phase out, but I am not ready.  I am not ready to give this up!  Will she look at me differently?  Will she feel rejected?  Will she be at risk?  Will she love me less?

I know what the logical answers are.  I know that the right thing to do is wean Violet and start these meds.  I know I have to take this risk and give up something I love in order to salvage a life I want to live with my family; to be the mother and wife they need me to be.  I know.  I KNOW.  But the pain I've dealt with in my joints is nothing compared to the pain I am feeling in my heart.  NOTHING.  This just isn't fair.

Then, I realize this pity party I'm hosting is what's unfair.  People are being diagnosed with cancer while I'm being told there's a chance to nip this thing in the bud before it's too late.  And there are mothers who never had 6 minutes let alone 6 months of nursing with their babies.  I get it.  But nonetheless, I'm grieving.  I'm struggling with this shitty hand of cards I've been dealt.  And I will be struggling with it for the rest of my life.

And so now, I have to make the right decision and get this show on the road.  I have to put a timeline on when I will nurse my baby for the last time.  The last time I'll feel her tiny hand grab my chest as she latches to my breast.  The last time I will feel her drinking the milk my body has made for her.  The last time I'll see her little eyes looking up at me and feel her hand reach for my face while she nurses.  And when I think about this, my body shakes.  I feel lost and devastated and completely and utterly defeated.  My body has betrayed me.  My life has changed.  And I am dreading the last time.

simply memories

Our second little miracle, Violet Leigh, arrived on October 26th at 10:15pm.  10 days later, we welcomed my friend and photographer of choice, Kate Hood, into our home to help us create some photo memories of this wonderful time in our lives.

Since becoming a mother, I've realized how fast time seems to go.  I blinked and my first born, Mateo was in preschool.  One of my regrets from the first time around was choosing not to have newborn photos taken.  So when I found out I was expecting for a second time, I booked Kate immediately.

The shoot was done in our master bedroom.  Nothing fancy - no studio lights or props.  Just natural light from the window, my late Grandmother's blanket (we named Violet after her), our beagles, my husband, our son, and our newborn baby girl.  And despite this simplicity, the images Kate created are the most beautiful pieces of art I've ever seen; completely capturing the essence of my beautiful little family.

While traditional newborn photos usually include little babes posed in tiny baskets and flower pots, we were looking for something more real - and I couldn't hold back the tears when I saw that Kate gave us just that.  Each little body part, each smile, each touch appears so genuinely in each photograph, and as I scrolled through the collection, I felt so incredibly blessed and grateful not only for my family, but also for the opportunity to enjoy these memories for the rest of my life.

I think the reason I'm writing this blog is to express just how much I believe in photography. Real, raw, beautiful photography. You can't put a price on memories - and if you're looking to make some, I encourage you to invite Kate along.

Tick-Tock Goes the Clock

Well, I’ve reached week 38 of my second pregnancy, and I’m starting to feel a bit guilty for wishing it away. 

I’ve been “done” - and I mean DONE - for several weeks now.  Getting up to pee 6 times a night, adopting a bit of a waddle thanks to the sciatic nerve pain, feeling completely exhausted and generally large (more like EXTRA large) has turned me into one grumpy pregnant person.  I’ve scoured the internet and begged for advice in online groups for ways to get the labour going sooner.  I’ve started taking evening primrose oil caplets and drinking raspberry leaf tea, I’ve gone for long walks and gotten hubby on board to help with other fun (yet utterly awkward at this stage) methods.  And yet, this baby is still safely tucked away in my belly with no real signs of adhering to my eviction notice.

Now that I’m closer than ever to the big day, I’m realizing that this could be my last experience with pregnancy.  Hubby and I have thought about having 3 children, but the more we discuss, the more we feel that 2 might be just right for us.  And so, in a few weeks, a few days or even a few hours, I will be giving up my last beautiful round belly, my last adoring look from a stranger, my last kick from the miracle growing inside me.

If I’ve learned anything from my first born, Mateo, it’s that time goes unbearably fast when you start to have children.  Forgive me for the cliché, but it literally feels like yesterday that we brought him home, and now he is having complete conversations with us and insisting on doing everything “by self”.  One day, not so long from now, the baby I’m wishing would come out of my body will be walking out of my house, and I’ll wonder where the years went.

Nothing I do or say or wish for will speed up or slow down the clock.  And this little baby will come when she’s ready – in her own good time.

never 'just dogs'

Growing up, I was desperate for a dog.  I dreamed of a time I could cuddle with my furry friend at night, and run in the backyard with him during the days.  I would flip to the comics in the paper and look longingly at the Snoopy strip thinking, "If Charlie Brown can have a beagle, why can't I??".  My childhood came and went, and still I had no dog to call my own.

Enter my Knight in Shining Armour (or rather, Hero in an EMS Uniform) who would eventually propose marriage and give me the most precious wedding gift I could have ever imagined - a beagle, named Copper.  My dream had finally come true!  I had a furry friend to cuddle with and run with and love forever... But the thing is, I really had no idea what I was getting into.  I could never have dreamed up the love, the loyalty, the pure bliss I would feel with this precious animal in my life.

A year after Copper came, we welcomed another beagle, Diego into our family.  Our "Beagle Boys" became our children - we spoiled them with gourmet food and spent hours indulging in long walks and cuddles on the couch in front of the TV.  When I found out I was expecting my first human child, countless people told me my "boys" would soon take a backseat.  That I would no longer feel the same connection, and they would become "just dogs".  I insisted through my pregnancy that this was simply untrue.  And in truth, Copper and Diego have not only maintained their status as our children, but have strengthened and enriched our family more than they'll ever know.

Every morning, I wake to Copper's insistent licks and Diego's silly stretching sounds.  I come home after a stressful day at work to be greeted with excited barks and wagging tails.  I can always count on a free floor-cleaning crew while making dinner, and a cuddle partner or two on the couch while we watch our favourite shows.  I am never alone, and in my darkest hours, just one look in their eyes tells me I am loved.

I've watched with heartache as friends have had to say goodbye to their beloved dogs, and I wonder how I will ever be able to do the same.  I can't imagine a day when I won't hear Diego's little paws running across the floor, or Copper's eager whine when food is put on the table.  Just as I can't fathom saying goodbye to my son, Mateo, I simply can't accept that I will one day - far too soon - have to say goodbye to my Beagle Boys.

But in the meantime, I will cherish each and every moment I share with these creatures.  I will be thankful that my son and daughter-to-be will be fortunate enough to grow up with them, never having to want or wish or dream the way I used to.  And to those who told me they're "just dogs", I feel sorry for you.  I pity you for not knowing how a human and an animal can share the purest of friendship, an unspoken bond; the most unconditional love.

the ultimate blessing

Five years ago at a bridal shower, a dear friend of mine announced quietly that she was pregnant.  I had only been married for about a year (she had been married less time), and while I was excited for her, I wasn't sure if that path would be right for me.  When she gave birth to her son the following winter, I remember visiting her in the hospital and holding her newborn for the first time...it was magical, and he wasn't even mine.  She would gush on the phone and in emails about how in love with her baby she was, and that while motherhood was hard, she wouldn't trade it in for anything.  In her very short time as a mother (she lost her life to colorectal cancer before her son turned two), she taught me so much about love, life, and being a mommy.  I soon  realized that maybe I did want to take that path after all.

I remember visiting her in the hospital - this time, during her cancer treatment - and whispering in her ear, "I'm pregnant!".  I was only 6 weeks along at the time, and she was the second person I had told, even ahead of my own mother.  She whispered back, "I knew it!" and glowed with an excitement that only another mommy could exude.

At her funeral, I watched her son point to a photo beside the casket and exclaim, "Mommy!!".  As I clutched my belly, feeling the life of my son inside me, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of desperation.  What if I too would be forced to leave my baby behind?  What must she have felt knowing she wouldn't watch him blow out another birthday candle?  Ride a tricycle?  Go to school? 

My son is now two and a half, and I am expecting my second child - a girl - this Fall.  I think about my friend all the time, about what she's missing, and how many more children she would have had.  I think about how unfair life is.  How precious these gifts are. How we can't take one second for granted.  And I am thankful that some of my other dear friends have started their own families, and are enjoying the same bliss that she once enjoyed; that I still get to enjoy. 

Five years from now, perhaps at another bridal shower, I will think of my friend.  I will continue to be thankful for the "trend" she started, and for the example she set of how being a mommy is the ultimate blessing.

the meaning of my birthday

As the years go by, the meaning of my "birth day" changes.  When I was a little girl, a birthday meant PRESENTS.  When I was a teenager, a birthday meant PARTYING.  When I was in my 20s, a birthday meant... ok, partying.  When I turned 30 last year, it was about both presents and partying (I see a trend here), but this year it meant something more.  Suddenly I feel grateful to even have a birthday.  To be alive.  To live in a beautiful home.  To share a life with my husband, our beagles and our son.

I am so thankful for my friends and family who shared birthday wishes on Facebook, in emails, text messages and phone calls today.  But I want you all to know that I feel your love every day.

Today was unlike most of my previous birthdays; fairly ordinary in fact. I ate pancakes, went for a walk, bought a new juicer, went out for lunch, lounged on the couch, tucked my son into bed, went to a movie, ate some dessert, came home...and all before 11pm.  But for me, it was spectacular.  My present and my party was precious time spent with my family.

Happy Birthday to me!

10 little things to change the world

Today, I've come to the conclusion that if even 80% of the human population adhered to, or were blessed with the following 10 things (in no particular order), the world would be a better place:

1. An abundance of nutritious food.
2. A plant-based diet.
3. A place to call home.
4. A job close to home.
5. The love and loyalty of an animal.
6. A group of people to call "family".
7. A friend or two.
8. Respect for all living creatures.
9. A voice.
10. True happiness.

Thoughts?

Before I was a Mother, I wore lip-gloss

Before I was a mother, I wore lip-gloss.  I read novels and drank lattes.  I went shopping on my own.  I woke up each morning to the sound of my alarm, and took long hot showers.  I got together with friends and went on dates with my husband.  I traveled.  I walked the dogs after dinner.  I did laundry once a week.  I dreamed of becoming a journalist for a big broadcaster downtown.  I wore heels almost every day.  I worked out with a trainer 3 times a week and stuck to a proper diet.  I thought my wedding day would always be the best day of my life.  I took fewer pictures.  I didn’t care about our small backyard.  I worked on scrapbooks for hours.  I thought the Wiggles were whacked.  I didn’t know Mickey Mouse had a new clubhouse.  I thought I could never love a baby as much as my beagles.  I drank wine.  I bought clothes for myself.  I didn’t own crayons.  I left scissors out.  I had a boring bathtub.  I thought parents of newborns were totally paranoid.  I had no idea how important a Diaper Genie could be.  I didn’t appreciate the invention of the wipe.  I bought less paper towels.  I had shirts without stains.  I didn’t have cookie crumbs in my purse.  I thought I’d never breastfeed.  I didn’t own a food processor.  I didn’t know what true love was. 

Then I gave birth.  We named him Mateo, and my life changed.  I fell in love all over again.  I breastfed for 14 months.  I have stains on most of my clothes.  I do laundry four times a week.  I have a bathtub full of fun toys.  I bow to my Diaper Genie.  I always have a month’s supply of paper towels in stock. There are wipes in every room of my house.  I am totally paranoid.  I carry cookies in my purse.  I lock scissors in a drawer.  I own hundreds of crayons.  I buy toys and shop at Baby Gap.  I make the best applesauce.  I still drink wine.  I love my baby just as much as my beagles (ok, maybe a bit more). I am a Wiggles fan.  I can sing Mickey’s theme song.  I scrapbook when I can.  I go to the gym when I can.  I wear flats.  I work 6 minutes from home, and would give up an anchor position to spend an extra 2 hours with my son.  I read storybooks and drink tea.  I wake up to babbling from a monitor and take 2-minute showers.  I have mommy friends.  I go on dates with my husband – in our Family Room.  I do bath time after dinner.  I found us a new house with a bigger backyard.  I take more pictures.  I smile more.  I have rediscovered Mac & Cheese.  I make Rice Krispies Squares.  I always have hand sanitizer close-by.  I think the word “mama” coming out of my son’s mouth is just about the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.  I found true love.  And the lip-gloss?  I traded it for kisses.

moving to the beat

A man once told me that everything in life is rhythmic; the steps of your feet, the words from your mouth, the beat of your heart.  And no matter how hard you might try to deny it, even things like your daily routine - taking the kids to school, writing a report, mailing a letter - are all done with some sort of rhythm.  I know for sure that in my life, the rhythm is constantly changing.  I'm always learning, always moving in one way or another; even when I'm sitting still.

This man's name is Dean Gagnon.  If you saw him on the street, you may not give him a second look.  He's your regular everyday Joe, earning a living as a Special Needs worker, and drumming in his spare time.  But it's what he decided to do with his gifts - with the rhythm of his life - that made him extraordinary.

Please take the next two and a half minutes to watch his story that aired on Always Good News. 

Erin

all you need is now

Turn the key.  Sunglasses on.  Pull out onto the street.  Turn on the radio.  Who knew I'd start my day with Duran Duran telling me, "all you need is now"?  Followed by a resounding "never say never" from The Fray.  It's funny how the universe just knows sometimes. 

As you can see, I haven't written a blog entry in some time.  I'm in great need of a spring cleaning of sorts; but of my life (ok, and my house).  There are so many things I want to do!  When was the last time I read a book?  Wrote a page of my novel?  Finished a scrapbook page? 

These past few weeks have brought me stories of several amazing people who make me think it's possible to fit it all in (click on their names if you want to watch their story on alwaysgoodnews.ca).  Sonya Di Rienzo, this amazing and quite beautiful female director making short films in Toronto. Don Lucas, a man who went skydiving and white water rafting - when he was in his 80's. Jean Okerese, 88 years young and working with her passion - fashion!  Matt & Bill, two men who are striving to keep your kids safe on the road.... the list goes on. 

Tonight I'm going to go home and see my beautiful son, teach a piano lesson, make and eat dinner.... Then, I'm going to read at least a chapter in the first in the pile of many books I'm dying to read.  It's a start. 

60 Seconds

While I mindlessly scrolled through Twitter updates on my phone last night, I saw a post about a fire truck t-boning a car and killing a 42-year-old woman.  I didn't click on the link to find out more.  These things happen every day, but for some reason the story stuck with me.  I woke up this morning to a bbm message from my husband explaining the details of the crash.  She was literally a minute from home, speaking to her child on the phone as she drove (not sure if it was a head-set or not).  The phone went dead when she was hit, leaving her child motherless.

Anything can happen to anyone at any time.  It's that simple.

All the way to work, I was feeling down because of this story. And I'm really not sure why it affected me so much... Maybe because I'm a parent now.  Maybe because my friend Tanya's son Jack no longer has a mother.  Maybe because I know one minute you can be on your way home to see your family, and the next you can be gone.  BUT........ as the wife of a paramedic, I've learned you have to focus on the GOOD in life, because otherwise the darkness will eat you alive.

And so.... When I arrived at work on the verge of tears, feeling like driving back home and crawling into bed, I sat down and watched the piece my editor put together for me on Friday.  It's the story of Gail Van Egmond, who decided one day to lose weight and get healthy so she could be the mom she was supposed to be to her two sons.  It's inspirational, and beautiful, and positive.  It reminded me that being afraid only wastes time, and living in the moment is not only encouraged, but necessary.

Then my mind wandered to the interview I did on Friday about a man named Trent Kilner, one of the 57 Orphans brought to Canada after the Fall of Saigon in 1975.  He is alive, and well, and married to the love of his life with two beautiful children. 

Life can bring horror and pain.  But it can also bring happiness.  And this minute, I'm choosing to focus on happiness.

only a number

I just wrote an entire paragraph about turning 30, and decided to skip the old cliches and move on to the important stuff.

While I did celebrate my birthday this past weekend, I also attended the 10th Anniversary Gala for the Tema Conter Memorial Trust.  A few short months ago, I accepted the position of Director of Media & Public Relations for this charity, because I truly believe in their cause.  Through research, education, training and peer and psychological support, the trust is there to help those men and women in emergency services (police, fire, ems and military personnel) suffering from Acute and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  As the wife of a paramedic, I can say simply and whole-heartedly that I COULD NEVER DO WHAT THEY DO.  But what I can do is support them.  Tell their stories.  And spread the word that asking for help is OK.

I met a man named Leandre (pronounced Lee-ander) last week who learned quickly that sometimes asking for help is a necessity.  He didn't suffer from PTSD, but he did survive a spinal chord injury.  He is now a quadriplegic.  Did you know that some quadriplegics can move their arms?  Use their hands?  Even walk?  I certainly didn't.  Leandre says "not everyone turns out like Christopher Reeve", and thankfully so.  Leandre has limited but high-functioning use of his arms and hands, can wiggle his toes and says if he holds onto something tight, he can even stand up for brief periods.  He has a steady girlfriend, travels all over the world, works for the Canadian Paraplegic Association as a Peer Support Coordinator and fundraiser, down-hill skis and plays wheelchair rugby.  He has overcome his disability, and turned it into something positive. 
When I walked away from Leandre, steady on my feet, I decided that turning 30 wasn't so bad after all.

rules are made to be broken

Before I came back to work, I set three rules for myself:

1. I would not book any shoots on a Monday morning.
2. I would not book any shoots further than half an hour in the winter.
3. I would not work evenings or weekends unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary.

I have broken all three of those rules in the first week. 

I know it's all about perspective, and every one's life is different, blah, blah, blah, but I'm feeling guilty for making such a huge deal about going back to work, turning 30 and all the other silly things I complain about.  Wednesday evening I interviewed Kevin McGill, a vibrant, athletic guy in his early '20s.  You'd never know that just 2 years ago he was diagnosed with the most severe case of lupus his doctors had ever seen... With a positive attitude and the help of his yummy trainer (oops, did I write that out loud?), Adam Kania, Kevin has overcome this disease, and is hopeful that his remission will continue for the rest of his life.  This incredible story will air Wednesday February 16th at 9:30pm on CTS.

Last night I did a follow-up with Shari Ichelson Silverman, a woman with such strength and conviction, I am blown away by all that she's accomplished for others.  Watch Friday February 18th for the story I did in the Fall of 2009 when Shari was waiting for a match for a bone marrow transplant, and then on Monday February 21st for the amazing news she got while I was away on maternity leave.  I urge all of you to get on the One Match stem cell and marrow network registry!  All it takes is a cheek swab (I did it last night and it took 30 seconds), and you could literally save a life. There's a one-month-old baby in B.C. waiting for a transplant.  Think about that.

When we set rules in our lives, we're limiting what we can learn, what we can accomplish and ultimately what we can become.  I don't want to work 60 hour weeks like I was doing before I had a baby, but I also want to tell great stories.  As I've been saying in my other posts, it's all about balance... and if I can find that balance without making rules for myself, I'll be a very happy girl :)

having my cupcake and eating it, too

Well, I'm back at work in full swing, with two shoots under my belt already.  And as many of you read on Facebook, I thought I may have lost my touch... But unbeknownst to me, reporting is like riding a tandem bike; as long as your cameraman is on board and willing to help you steer, you won't fall off.


I am already feeling so much better about being back at work, because I really do have the coolest job.  I met some incredible people yesterday, and have several more lined up for the rest of the week.  Monday's show will include my story about Mary-Lu Zahalan, a Juno-nominated singer/songwriter who is not only the head of Sheridan's performance program, but earned herself the very first masters degree in the Beatles (note: my first reaction when Connie told me about the story was, "why is a story about a degree in beetles interesting?" to which Connie replied, "No, THE Beatles").  We ventured across Sheridan's Oakville campus (a LOT bigger than you'd think) and met Mary-Lu and her quirky performance class, two of the students belting out a mash-up of Britney's "Boys" and Gaga's "Boys, Boys, Boys".  Mary-Lu is a music teacher that everyone should have - beautiful, worldly and smart as hell with a cool rocker edge. 


Tuesday's show will include my story about a little Vegan cafe in Burlington called Kind Food.  Ken and Kelly Childs (their name says it all... they're just about the cutest couple you'll ever see) own this gluten-free bakery/vegan cafe/foods and juice bar, and their story is really incredible.  The most shocking thing I learned is that Ken, now a full-out vegan, used to own a STEAKHOUSE!!  He credits Kelly with "saving" him (sounds dramatic, but when you put those lifestyles side-by-side, it's beyond true), and says he's never felt better or been happier in his life.  I became a vegetarian almost a year ago, and after meeting the Childs', would definitely consider trying a Vegan lifestyle.  I tried some of the most delicious food I've ever tasted, including a raspberry-chocolate cupcake that I would have SWORN was full of sugar - you'd literally never know it was actually good for you.  And I did my stand-up in one take (make sure you watch that one 'cause I take a huge bite out of the cupcake and get it all over myself - classic)... I had the urge to shout out, "I'm BACK baby!!", but without my Friends trivia girls around, it wouldn't have made much sense.


Today is Mateo's birthday, and while it hurt me to leave this morning, I made time this afternoon to go home for a quick lunch to see him.  I think I'm going to get this balancing thing under control, and I'll be able to enjoy both parts of my life.  A good friend wrote me an email recently, that said:

"In going back [to work] you are showing Mateo that you are a whole person and that while he is the most important part of your world, your work is also part of you.  You are giving him an excellent role model in how to balance your life with work and family.  When Mateo is ready for a girlfriend he’ll choose a girl who is strong, smart, compassionate, generous and beautiful inside and out…just like his Mom."

I can't tell you how good that made me feel... and it's almost as though a switch turned on for me.  I can do this.  I can be a journalist, and I can be Mommy.  And I can do both well. 

the end of an era

So, here it is, the last day of my mat leave. I always knew this day would come, but did I think it would come this fast? Hell no. I'm going to make the best of it (staying inside because it's -18 outside and I'd like Mateo to keep his fingers).

I always find it interesting that going to bed at night and waking up in the morning are so very different. When I put my head down last night, I was on the verge of tears, head pounding, mind racing. When I woke up this morning, it took me a few minutes to remember that I'd even been upset. That happened often after my dear friend Tanya passed away in 2009. It still happens sometimes; I have to remind myself that she's gone. I wish we could live in those brief moments of ignorant bliss all the time... but that wouldn't be very healthy, would it.

I'm watching Mateo on the monitor as he naps (yes, I'm one of those paranoid first-time moms with a video monitor), wondering what fun we'll have this afternoon. It'll probably be like any other day we've spent this past year, but for me it will be different. I know I will still see him every day, and spend full days with him on weekends, but I can't help but feel the presence of the word "goodbye".

Calling my maternity leave an "era" may be a tad dramatic, but for me, it was. And now that it's over, I know I have to find a way to transition into this next one...without spending every waking minute with my precious baby boy. You can bet though, that he'll always be on my mind. Whether I'm interviewing the Queen of England (that would be cool), or sifting through footage of a Brian Melo concert, Mateo will be in my thoughts. And while I know each year will go faster than the last, he will ALWAYS be my baby.

checking the time

Right now my clock says 11:11pm. Since my teen years, I've always made a wish when I see those numbers...and up until February 8th, 2010, those wishes were usually for myself. That was the day everything changed; I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy named Mateo and I was suddenly willing to give all of my wishes to him.

Almost a year has passed (so cliche, but where does the effing time go??), and I'm days away from returning to work. While I can honestly say I love my job (I'm a reporter/producer for "Always Good News" on CTS), I'm anxious - and not in a good way - about relinquishing my control of Mateo's day-to-day activities. I'm extremely fortunate because my mom has agreed to care for him while my hubby and I are at work, but the fact remains: I will be missing so much. What if he takes his first steps? Says his first real word ("Dada", "Yaya", "Baba" and most exciting, the recent "Mama" are pretty much the only sounds he makes)? Feeds himself? Goes on his first date? Ok, getting ahead of myself... but you see where I'm going with this. How is a working mother supposed to balance her life in a way that is fullfilling on all levels? How am I supposed to avoid stretching myself too thin? How will I handle missing these monumental moments?

So much has happened, so much has really changed in the last year, and I'm looking to the future with glasses as rosy as I can get them. And while I'm in many ways dreading the end of my maternity leave, I look forward to meeting people doing good things while I tell their stories for the show.

My clock now says 11:26, but when 11:11 comes around again, I'll make another wish for Mateo. But I can't tell you what it is, or it won't come true.